So I have this problem I can't seem to get over. Despite the constant comments about how I am losing weight and looking good, I can't seem to get out of the mindset that I will always be the "Fat Girl." I really wish I could break free from it, but I just can't figure out how.
So after going on my drive thru excursion with my wedding date-to-be, I arrived at work Monday morning to raised eyebrows from some of our other coworkers. You see, wedding date-to-be (I will just refer to him as "Date Man") had sent text messages out to some of our coworkers pinpointing that he and I were together on a Saturday evening. As if that wasn't bad enough, Date Man's best friend decided to start teasing me (in retaliation for playing practical jokes on him) and told the biggest mouth at my whole workplace that Date man and I had gone on a date. UGHHH! Talk about more raised eyebrows?!? I am still being teased about the whole thing and apparently so is Date man.
Here is my issue. First of all, I don't like being the subject of the rumor mill. Maybe if I was thin and beautiful it wouldn't bother me, but being the "Fat Chick," it really bugs me. More than being the butt of other people's jokes, I don't want Date Man to be subjected to that. My biggest fear is that people will razz him so much about doing stuff with the "Fat Chick" that he won't wanna do anything with me anymore (mainly, he will chicken out of going to the wedding.) One of my coworkers even went as far as telling Date man that "he knew what did this weekend because I was all smiles and I was very giddy." From what I understand, Date man had to defend that and say "No no no it wasn't like that..." Makes me wonder, could it ever be? He has made those types of advances before, but will he ever again?
One of my coworkers (male) who I am pretty close to is actually one of the culprits when it comes to teasing me about the situation. I asked him to stop, and told him in a nutshell why it was bugging me (the whole "Fat girl" theory about being the butt of people's jokes), he told me that I was crazy and that they didn't think of me like that. I want to believe him, I really do.... I just hope that he's right. Any suggestions? I need to know how to break free from this mentality.
Like I said, I kind of need the wedding date thing to go off without a hitch, if for no other reason than to help boost my crappy self esteem and prove a few things to myself. I just pray pray pray that it does.....
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